We are big proponents of exploring our own eroticism every single day. That just means that we become attuned to the love and desire we feel for ourselves, each other, for everyday objects and for the lives that we lead. It’s so imperative that you place pleasure and ecstasy at the center of your manifestations. As an avid reader of Quantum Psychics and the Law of Attraction, let’s discuss some manifestations you can consider to get the juices flowing!
Manifestation #1
I will romanticize my masterbation (+ be more conscious about it)
Self pleasuring allows us to further love and safely explore our own bodies. It also allows us to experiment with sensations, positions, mindfulness practices, among so many other things. As part of your new self pleasuring routine, we would highly recommend that you romanticize it. And just like with partnered sex, masterbation LOVES variety!
- Find ethical porn or erotic audio stories to spice up the scene.
- Prepare for masterbation like you would with a partnered sexual encounter – shower, groom, ‘get ready’, feel primed for pleasure.
- Do breathing exercises and become attuned with your body as you prepare to celebrate their existence & beauty.
- Consider the 5 senses – What are the smells of the space? Is there sexy music playing? Do you have a toy or a pleasure enhancer nearby? Is there dark chocolate you can have melting in your mouth? What are you wearing – are you feeling desirable?
Manifestation #2
I will have the sex talk with my partner(s)
We would highly encourage you and your partner to have regular chats about your sex lives. It can be a great first step, after talking with your partner, to begin journaling your sexual encounters. Sometimes referred to as a ‘sex script’, answering questions about your sex lives can often make you more aware of where erotic improvements can be made. Then, begin chatting about each sex script you write and go from there.
- When and where did it occur? Who initiated? Were parties raring to go?
- What was the context? When did it occur?
- Were you in the mood for sex at the time? Was there a reason for the encounter? Was it intrinsically or extrinsically motivated?
- Once you decided to have sex, how did it progress? Was the lead-up sexy, erotic, exciting, predictable, or routine?
- Was there any psychological excitement? Did you feel desired? Was there sexy talk?
- What was off-limits and why? Was there a focus on intercourse or outercourse?
- Did you feel distracted?
- What had orgasms, and who didn’t? How come?
- What was the emotional and psychological impact on the experience?
- Were there any vulnerabilities that popped up?
- Was it a success? Was it good sex? Average?
Inspired by Ian Kerner’s sex script.
Manifestation #3
I will read a book (or two) about sexuality so that I can better understand my own
Consider reading a book with your partner(s) and connecting on each chapter together.
There are so many darn delicious books out there about sex. Here are just a few books we recommend reading:
- The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz
- Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski
- Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha
- The State of Affairs, Esther Perel
- The Ethical Slut, Janet W. Hardy , Dossie Easton
- Loving Eachother, Leo Buscaglia
Manifestation #4
I will make ‘loving my body’ a priority
If you’re a clitoris owner, we recommend that you take a mirror to your vagina and explore all the beauty that surrounds your genitals. We also encourage all of you to stand in front of the mirror every day for 30 days and list out the amazingness that makes you, YOU! We would also encourage journaling in this situation too so that you can experience your mental progress.
Additionally, nourish your body! It’s one thing to talk well to your body but it’s another to treat it with reverence. Feed your body nutritious foods, listen to uplifting music, limit mindless entertainment, connect to your body through touch, think quality thoughts and be aware of your mind.
Manifestation #5
I will explore my kinks and fantasies (and try to do so without judgment)
Please, please, please take some time to think about what turns you on! And then either go do that hot thing, or converse with your partner(s) about how they can play a role in your new sexual fantasy. It will be very important for you to be non judgemental and open to what may come about. From the most vanilla to the kinkiest, we are innately wired to have these thoughts, so get to exploring. And if your idea of a good time doesn’t match up with your partner(s), consider how you can come to a safe agreement on how to incorporate it into your relationship.
Or use the Four Quadrant Exercise as a guide.
Consider this when exploring new sexual interests with your partner. Having a system like this can help us better communicate our wants and desires.
For the list of desires, of course, you’re welcome to come up with the list yourself. However, I would recommend you Google various sexual ideas to try and see what resonates with you. From the kinkiest to the most vanilla – explore them all.