The Art of Sexual Embodiment

As I’m studying to become a Somatic Sexologist (and hopefully by the time you’re reading this, I have earned my stripes as a Somatic Sexologist), I am learning that a lot of individuals struggle with being ‘too much in their head’ during sex. And as many of our followers know, the largest sex organ is our brain, so having that organ interfere with our sex lives is very counterproductive to our own eroticism. Additionally, as a society, we are so focused on instant satisfaction and making everything fast, fast, fast, we absolutely lose connection with ourselves.  

What is Embodiment?

Embodiment is a practice that combines several key elements:

• Breath work
• Touch, sensual connectedness
• Sound
• Movement
• Placement of awareness (attunement)

When it comes to sex, embodiment can help address these common concerns in your sex life.

• Do you have thoughts or feelings that keep you from exploring your body?
• Do you wonder if you’re feeling all the pleasure you can? 
• Do you feel shame when it comes to acting out your desires?
• Have you been tolerating painful or boring sex?
• Do you wonder if you have pain that can’t escape & would like to learn how to heal it?
• Would you like to discover what your body craves?
• Do you have performance anxiety?

When You’re Disembodied

Whether it’s from trauma, shame or societal repercussions, being disembodied can take various forms.

• Disassociation with sexual feelings
• Disassociation with pleasure – in all things
• Not being able to feel sensations throughout your body – whether it’s in response to something sexual in nature or simply sensual smells in your environment

Types of Embodiment (according to Somatica Institute)

Foundational Embodiment

This is often something you’re born with. This is the innate feeling that you’re safe within your own body.

Sensual Embodiment

This is being able to feel pleasurable sensations within your body. Whether it’s the warmth of the sun on your skin or the way your lover touches your neck. 

Sexual Embodiment

This is the art of connecting with your genitals & to sexual expression.

Practice Embodiment

Let’s claim our bodies in this exercise! This exercise will help you feel connectedness with yourself, ultimately leading to more pleasurable experiences after sitting in your bodily integrity. 

Step 1: Set the scene – it can be lighting a candle or playing music to get your body in a comfortable, calm space.

Step 2: Take 3 big deep breaths in, slowly but surely feeling the breath in every inhalation. (you can be seated or standing, your eyes can be open or closed)

Step 3: Now we will begin claiming our body – and we would encourage you to touch each body part as you move through this exercise.

• This is my head (touch your head)
• This is my mouth
• This is my chest
• These are my breasts
• This is my stomach
• This is my vulva/penis
• These are my hands
• This is my butt
• These are my thighs
• These are my feet
• This is my entire body

Through each body part touching experience, we ask you to feel the sensations that are coming up… Does this body part want to be held? Is there a tingling sensation? Are your fingers vibrating from the electricity in your body? Is that happiness that you feel in your chest? Is that tension you feel in your stomach?

Pay attention to what comes up throughout your body. If it isn’t obvious at first, keep after it. Embodiment is a practice and it takes time to feel! 

The Results

Once you practice embodiment skills regularly, they become part of you, your essence, part of your toolbox! When your body knows that you’re showing up for it without expectation or judgment, pain & feelings of shame neutralize. Pleasure intensifies greatly. And you begin to live a more orgasmic life – in all types of embodiment.